ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
