Having a random hookup so left but love u
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
