hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
