Having a random hookup so left but love u
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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