i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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