I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just blew my weed a kiss
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
