Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
