I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
