wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
