I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
