Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
