If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
No subtext here. People are naked.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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