the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
