Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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