she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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