Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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