So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
