you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
