dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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