have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
