If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
