I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
