Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
