At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
