You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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