Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
