you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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