i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize