i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
