When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
