how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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