K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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