I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
