I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Who did Billy Mays play for?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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