Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
