I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
