I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize
