i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
