One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
