the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
