I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
