I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
You took a bar mat shot.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
