Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
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