Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
