She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
BRING THE BAGELS
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
