Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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