I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
