I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
