i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
