Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
