I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
