I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
