And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
