Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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