Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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