she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
