there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
